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Friday, March 18, 2005

Prelude to Denver

Here's my first attempt at story telling. Not much yet, there's still more, this is just the first installment. I just created it this morning and will be working on some more this weekend. Hope you enjoy reading through it---


Since giving birth to Daniel Livy had been a changed woman. Ray noticed that she has this glow and happiness about her whenever she is with Daniel, when she steals a glance at Ray or when they both marvel at the baby that had given them both such unexplainable happiness between them.

Indeed their lives had changed so much since Daniel’s arrival. In spite of this, both of them seem to have worked out a way to get back to their regular routine before Daniel’s birth. It has been hard for Ray to leave early to work in the fields but he’s managed to work around that as well. He enjoys the early mornings watching both the baby and Livy sleep while he sips his morning coffee. Lately, he’s been delaying his departure from the house. In the fields, work had been easier on Ray, thinking of his wife and son seem to give him the energy to do more than he usually planned for the day. In the afternoons, Ray feels the hour drag by so slow as he always looked forward to going home and spending time with them.

At the same time Ray is aware that Livy can be strangely quiet , lost in her own thoughts at times when she is by herself about the house doing chores. Ray was getting worried that something was bothering her. He’s been watching her and had been trying to catch the right opportunity to ask her.

One night Livy was in the kitchen cooking dinner and Ray was in the parlor working on farm business at his desk. Daniel has been fed and sleeping in the cradle near Ray. He has been used to listening to sounds of the baby and Livy in the kitchen at nights. It brought a smile to his face when he looked over at the cradle and saw Daniel stretch and go back to sleep. It always amazed him that he is now a Dad, responsible for this wonderful little being. He turns and goes back to concentrating on the receipts that needed to be logged into the register when he noticed that there wasn’t any sound coming from the kitchen.

Livy started to enjoy cooking as she finds joy in seeing Ray’s reaction to it. He always compliments her cooking regardless if it comes out good or bad. She loves that about Ray. She’s determined to do better dishes and lesser of the bad ones just to please him. Since giving birth, she can’t describe the joy that Daniel had brought her and these warm and rousing feelings for Ray had been pestering her deep inside her heart. Lately, she hasn’t been able to control her emotions. She finds herself lost in her thoughts at times and there are times when sudden sadness just envelops her and she cannot understand why all of a sudden tears would well up from her eyes. Ray and Daniel had somehow completed her in a way that she cannot comprehend but deep down inside, she feels that there is still something missing—her Dad’s acceptance of her and to feel the love again from the man that she grew up looking up to and respected all her life.

She was by the stove deep in thought when she realized that Ray was standing by the doorway with his arms crossed watching her. The food she was cooking needed to be turned and she immediately tried to save it before it got burned.

Ray had the look of concern on his face and said: “You want to tell me what’s bothering you?”,

Livy: “I am fine, I was just thinking about something”—fidgeting now that she felt Ray’s eyes are onto her with that look of deep concern, she turns off the fire on the stove.

Ray: “Come here” , he extended his right arm to her and she just somehow found herself in his arms. She always felt comforted in his arms but now she finds herself not being able to control her tears, it started to stream down her face.

Ray saw that she was desperately trying to control her tears when she came to him and then he saw her come undone. “What’s wrong? Please tell me. Maybe I can help you.” Letting her go for short time to look at her face and to gently wipe the tears off her face and intently looking into her eyes. He can see the sadness on her face and he felt helpless seeing that in her eyes.

Livy: “ I don’t know, I can’t seem to control my emotions. I am sorry. I don’t know why I feel this sadness come over me sometimes.” She felt always conscious when he looks at her like that, she always felt like breaking his gaze but looking into his eyes always had her mesmerized and she easily gets lost in them.

Ray: “What’s making you sad?, maybe you shouldn’t be doing all this so early, you should get some more rest.” She buries her head on his shoulders, she hasn't mentioned her father's name in front of Ray before, it felt strange for her to open up this subject now but--

Livy: “No, I like working, it keeps my mind busy and I think it helps me get over these feelings at times……just lately, I’ve been thinking about Dad. I just wanted him to see Daniel, and to meet you. I think there are so many things I want to tell him that I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know how to do it, he hasn’t said any word since he sent me off to be married to you.”

Ray somehow knew that this may be the thing that was bothering her and now she had confirmed it. He was planning on making the trip to Denver, just the two of them, for now. He just didn’t know how to tell her about it but he had asked Martha earlier if she can look after Daniel when that time comes.

Ray: “Well, I was thinking we should take that trip and visit your Dad. Ruth can’t wait to babysit for us. I just didn’t know when you will up to doing that since it’s just been a few weeks since you gave birth. “

Livy was surprised, she was so engrossed in her own emotions that she didn’t even think that Ray had even thought that. “Really?, I don’t mind going soon.”

Ray: “You sure? I just want to make sure you will be fine.” Livy nods and so Ray says: “Ok let’s go next week”Livy felt a heavy burden lift from her, and at the same time, a feeling of foreboding as to what to expect once they get there. Ray gives her a warm hug and gave her kiss on her forehead, she wanted to remain in his arms forever. He did know how to make her feel better.

--to be continued---