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Thursday, June 30, 2005

Embers to Flames

I could not let the 5 month anniversary of the best movie, The Magic of Ordinary Days-most affectionately know as TMOOD, of all time pass without some sort of toasting. This movie has by far moved me to places I have never been before. On January 30, I had no idea that my life would be forever changed. Some deem me crazy, some deem me addicted. I agree, I am both crazy and addicted to Skeet and his work. But most recently through life experiences I have found myself crazy and addicted to the TMOODers and my daily fixes. So in honor of the 5 month anniversary....get your chocolate cake and cold co'colas and raise them to the emmy performance given by the man who brought us together....Skeet Ulrich. Here's too many more emmy performances and to fan fiction, my first love.

Livy had just dropped off the girls after her dress fitting and was thinking about the excitement in Florie’s voice as she talked about Walter. Recently, Livy has begun talking about Ray to the girls…she has told them his favorite color (green like Livy’s eyes) and she wonders if she has the same excitement in her voice as Florie does in hers.
Lately she finds herself lonely at home after she finishes the housework and she goes out looking for Ray in the fields,or in the barn, or in the shed where he was working. Ray had shown Livy how to change the tire on the truck and tractor. Livy loved the way Ray continued to aid in her independence.
However, Livy wanted to be more dependent on Ray than she dared to admit, even to herself. She liked the way he took care of her and she never worried about anything.
Livy turned onto the long winding driveway and could see Ray in the distance working out by the shed. This drew a smile to her face. She would not be alone this afternoon.
Ray heard the beet box pulling up the drive and his heart began to pound, just the thought of Livy made it hard for him to breathe.
Ray and Livy had come a long way from the day they were married. They had become comfortable with one another. Ray felt their life together would be good, hopefully one day great.
Ray had begun to be himself with Livy and she found out that Ray was quite the playful trickster.
Ray was quite pleased whenever Livy would show up where he was working. She always brought him co'cola to drink , thinking he may be thirsty. But soon she later admitted that she was lonely in the house and couldn’t bare to be in it another minute alone.
Ray knew that. And was glad she chose to spend it with him instead of a book that she was always reading.
As the truck pulled up, Ray felt like a nervous school boy. Should he stay with the burning trash or walk over towards the truck so that Livy would realize that he’d missed her and was glad she was home?
Before Ray realized what was going on, Livy had stopped the truck and barely had time to turn it off before she jumped out.
"No! No! What are you doing?" Livy yells while running towards the fire.
Startled, Ray answered confused, "What?"
"Where’s the burlap bag, from the dugout?" Livy demanded to know.
Right there Ray knew all the progress that they’ve made in their relationship was going up in smoke.
Ray wiped his mouth as he usually did when he was nervous and adjusted his hat.
Livy so upset she could only sigh in frustration to Ray-she stormed off to the house.
"Livy…." She heard Ray call after her.
Livy half expected Ray to follow her into the house and explained what happened. But he did not.
Livy got madder and madder as she walk in the house. Could he not apologize for destroying her hope?...her hope for a life in Wilson with him?
Livy went straight to fixing supper, something that Ray supported her efforts in. Livy had quickly made her mind up that she would give Ray the silent treatment or little talk tonight. Surface talk is what Livy called it. That’s how Livy’s family dealt with things, ignore the problem or the person. And Livy had become the queen of surface talk, though Livy was already feeling lonely just thinking about it.
Livy heard the back screen door open and close softly. And when she turned around there stood Ray, breathless, with the burlap bag in his strong farm hand.
Livy was stunned like at Martha’s a few weeks back when Ray talked about Troy,
Ray never ceased to amaze Livy -going to the ends of the earth to make her happy and he never once complained or ask for anything in return.
Ray told Livy that it was at the bottom of the pile and that it hadn’t caught fire yet.
Livy managed to walk to the sink because it was so hard for her to keep her composure, She so wanted to run into Ray’s arms and him to hold her.
Livy knew Ray didn’t intentionally mean to hurt her. He only wanted to make her happy there in his home.
But no, Livy chose they way she always had, shut everyone out so she doesn’t get hurt.
Ray told Livy that this was a working farm and if there isn’t any use for it, he gets rid of it.
"I thought it was trash, Livy"
"It’s not trash, it’s history, your history…our baby’s history"
Livy immediately bit her bottom lip. She could not believe that she had said "our baby". It came out before she could even think, but it was how Livy felt.
Ray’s ears were ringing, did he hear Livy say "our baby"?
Did she really mean that?
Livy smiled at Ray because she could tell what she said hit Ray right between the eyes.
He smiled back.
Livy wasn’t sure what to say next but she wanted to tell Ray how sorry she was…Ray reached out to Livy and touched her arm
"Livy, I’ll do anything to make you happy!"
"I know, Ray" Livy said softly
"I am so sorry I acted like I did", "it’s just that…"
Ray ceased the moment and pulled Livy into him. He saw the torment in her eyes and he just wanted to make Livy’s troubles go away. Livy gave into her desires to be by Ray. She fought it no more.
Ray had truly proven himself to her time and time again.
Rays strong arms were gently placed around Livy. Livy buried her head into Ray’s chest.
To be continued….

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